I’ll be honest; I’ve been grumpy lately. And when I’m grumpy, I’m impatient. And when I am impatient, I get annoyed. When I get annoyed, I say things I wish I had not. I think you get the picture. One emotion tends to spiral into another and before I know it, I’m pissed at myself and others as well.
That’s why, when I recently listened to the “Poetry Off the Shelf” podcast featuring a conversation between the host Helena de Groot and the writer E. J. Koh, my ears perked up when they talked about magnanimity. Someone with a magnanimous spirit is big-hearted, easily forgives others, and doesn’t show resentment.
In the podcast, Koh tells the story of her first poetry teacher who taught her the word magnanimity, and who told her that when she writes poems about her mother, by the end of the poem, she must either forgive her mother or the poem has to forgive her for not forgiving her mother.
Koh says, “that practice of every time writing a poem and having to get to the turn, it was a practice of care. It was a practice of magnanimity, and it was constantly writing ahead of myself. It’s starting the poem as who I am right then, and ending it as who I could be, as who I might want to be.”
Koh continued, “And that practice over years is something that I took, not just for the sake of writing poems, I brought it out into my relationships. I practiced it every day in the way I think to myself, this sort of compassion and care and expansion, and the ability to hold opposing ideas or sentiments simultaneously. I said, I really need to grow the space of my heart.”
How do I grow the space in my heart so that I feel more compassion for myself and others? How do I not get overwhelmed and saddened by the news, politics, injustice, and environmental concerns?
Like for Koh, I find that writing helps. Also, walks in the woods to clear my mind and strengthen my body. Mindfulness practice and Pilates class also help me build my mind and body muscles. A commitment to a regular volunteer activity is in service to others. And as Koh said, it is a daily practice to grow the space in our hearts.
How do you practice and embody a magnanimous spirit?
Lagniappe
E.J. Koh on distance, broken English, and writing poems that forgive
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